Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
HELP FOR THE AFTERSHOCK
We were shocked and deeply saddened yesterday to learn of the death of a beloved member of our church. The news of someone loosing their life, whether by accident or intent, brings a range of emotions. When it was one we all know and love, it is all the more heart wrenching. You may feel confusion, anger, betrayal, guilt, responsibility, and fear. How do we come to terms with this? How does knowing God make a difference in how we grieve?
Everyone wrestles with the question “why?” This side of heaven, this question can never be completely explained. There is no quick answer and easy solution. God does not offer for us platitudes and pat answers. He gives us something much better. In response to our sorrow, emotions, and unanswered questions, he gives us himself. In life’s broken, dark experiences we find that the promises and presence of God our Savior are real. In the midst of darkness, God calls us to live a life where faith and love still shine.
God is not naïve to the realities of what has happened. He is not naïve to our struggle with grief and pain. It is in the middle of these that our faith and trust in God grows. Read again the promises from Isaiah 41:10 (above). Why should we fear not? Because God is with us. Why should we not be dismayed? Because God is ours. How will our ever-present God strengthen, help, and uphold us? By his holy, just, powerful, glorious right hand! God speaks these words to you, “I am with you.” He is the only one who can reassure your heart.
PRACTICAL STRATEGIES GOING FORWARD
Cling to Jesus. God has come in the person of Jesus Christ and entered into the difficulties, sufferings, sins, and disappointments of this life. Jesus bore your weaknesses. He was tempted as you are. He triumphed. Now he comes near to you with promises of mercy and goodness. “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? “(Rom. 8:32). Nothing can separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Pray to your Father. Our heavenly Father is near and delights when you pour your heart out to him. Complaint, lament, mourning, and desperation are all emotions expressed in the Psalms. It is safe to be honest with your Father. (For starters, see Psalm 6, 10, 22, 38, 42, 43, 130.)
Connect with People. Don’t try to handle this alone, be part of your church family. Draw together more tightly. Gather with those who have been affected. Talk with one another. Don’t avoid talking about this tragedy. Grieve together. Pray together. Be the church for one another.
Trust in God’s Mercy. A question that is often asked is, “Can someone go to heaven if they take their life?” This is where we must be reassured that salvation is a gift of God’s merciful grace. Eternal life is nether merited by one’s deeds nor forfeited by one’s sins. On the cross, Jesus paid for all the sins of all those who would ever believe upon him for salvation. The love of God for his children is unquenchable and indestructible. God never lets go of his sheep. He will hold us fast.
NEED TO TALK?
We all need the help of one anther to walk through this. This is not a time for isolation, but for talking to a spouse or good friend. I welcome the opportunity to talk with anyone who would like more personal pastoral counseling during this difficult time. Simply reach out to me: thomas@crestviewbaptist.org
For His Glory,
Pastor Thomas
(Article adapted from the booklet, Grieving a Suicide: Help for the Aftershock by David Powlison, 2010 New Growth Press.)